2012 Highlights

Apparently being 8+months pregnant and updating a blog are too much for me to handle. Oops! Sorry, faithful readers. I plan to spend a good chunk of time over my "Christmas break" to update our poor little neglected blog. That's assuming Baby Girl doesn't decide to come early- then all bets are off!

Rich & I had a fantastic date night last night- all thanks to my darling husband. It was his idea to go to dinner & a movie, and I happily agreed! We saw "This is 40"- funny yet completely inappropriate. You pretty much know what you're getting with those actors, so we weren't expecting Oscar worthy performances. Afterwards, we went to a Chinese restaurant for dinner. Rich & I really enjoyed it- Rich even said it was the "best orange chicken he's had since going to China". I guess that's saying something!

Since 2012 is drawing to a close, we talked about our favorite moments from this year. I thought we'd share them here- so, in no particular order...

Top 10 Blessings from 2012

1. Getting pregnant- This is obviously a huge one for us. We really felt like the timing was right for us to start our family, but we fully put it in God's hands. We weren't sure how long it would take us to pregnant, or what pregnancy would be like on my body. But we have been so blessed this year and have seen God's faithfulness again and again through this pregnancy. We cannot wait to meet this little lady!

2. Ali & Hakim- In April, we become a Safe Family and had two little boys placed with us for approximately 3 months. They were 9 & 10 year old brothers from Chicago, and they were quite the adventure for us! All of the memories we made with the boys are ones we still cherish. We talk about them quite a bit, even though they went back home in July! It was incredible to see the way our friends & family stepped up to support us and love on these two little boys. Definitely a HUGE part of our year.

3. Rich's acceptance into Graduate School- We felt strongly that this past summer was when the Lord wanted Rich to begin his graduate work. Rich did a lot of research on different programs, and decided on a 3-summer program at the University of Illinois. It is a very well respected program, so we again had to trust that the Lord would grant him favor and place him wherever He wanted Rich. And we were thrilled to receive his acceptance letter! Rich completed his first of three summers, and while it was quite an adjustment being apart for so long, we know that it is well worth it.

4. Rich's opportunity with ISYM- Even while we felt like the timing was right for Rich to begin graduate school, we weren't exactly sure how we would swing the whole "paying for Grad school" part. We talked about student loans, or possibly going the 5 year option to make it more affordable. But Rich found out about an opportunity through the Illinois Summer Youth Music Camp (ISYM) that would provide him with a full tuition waiver! Rich applied right away, and was hired on as the youngest counselor they have ever had! Rich was essentially a camp counselor for kids coming to U of I for music camp. He made a lot of wonderful friends and had a great time- plus, he had his school PAID FOR! Such an answer to prayer and yet another demonstration of God's provision in our lives.

 

5. Celebrating 2 years of marriage- In October, we celebrated 2 years of marriage. It was a rather unromantic celebration, as our anniversary falls during the peak of Rich's busy marching band season! But we have learned so much about each other in these last two years, and are more in love than ever! We cannot wait to expand our family together and see what the Lord has in store in the years to come. I am so blessed to be married to such a wonderful man!

6. Becoming apprentices for our small group- We continue to attend Harvest Bible Chapel in Crystal Lake and are loving it! It's a much smaller campus than the Elgin campus we first attended, and we have made some wonderful friends through our small group. A few months ago, we felt like the Lord was urging us to pursue a position of leadership. We spent a while praying about it, and decided to accept the opportunity to become the "apprentice couple" to our small group leaders, Jason & Kathy. The hope will be to eventually grow our group to the point where it is large enough to split. At that point, Rich & I would lead one group, and Jason & Kathy would continue with the other group. It's been awesome so far, and we're excited to see what the Lord will do through our group in the next year!

 

7. Stiles Family Vacation to Hawaii- In August, shortly after Rich got home from Grad school for the summer, we were able to take a week long vacation with the Stiles family (Mom, Dad, Dan & Kayla) to Kauai, Hawaii! Rich and I were thrilled to be back to the place we had honeymooned, and it was fun to spend time as a family. We rented a gorgeous home on a golf course, complete with a huge chef's kitchen, media room and private pool! We definitely lived the sweet life for a week, and had a blast relaxing and spending time together.

8. Celebrating 1 year in our house- Also in August, we celebrated 1 year of living in Woodstock. We love our little house, and have had a blast doing little projects to improve it. While we would love to be a little bit closer to our family, we could definitely be comfortable in this house for many years to come! We have found some of our favorite restaurants in the area, and have enjoyed getting to know our neighbors. There are still days that we don't feel old enough/mature enough to own a house, but we are so thankful for the blessing that home ownership has been!

 

9. Having jobs that we love- Rich began his 3rd year at Richmond-Burton Community High School, and I celebrated my 1 year anniversary with the Pioneer Center for Human Services. While there are certainly long and stressful days for both of us, we are so thankful to have full-time jobs in our area of study. We are making an impact on others each and every day, and are confident that the Lord is at work through our employment. 

 

10. Meeting with a financial planner & setting goals for our future- After finding out we were pregnant, Rich & I thought it would be wise to meet with a professional financial planner to map out a plan for our future. It was something we had never done, so we were a little nervous. However, the man that we met with is a WONDERFUL, Christian man and we got along right away. We have set some pretty high goals for ourselves, but feel so encouraged by the plan we've made. We are so thankful that for such a young couple, the Lord has really blessed us financially. We are excited to continue to work towards our goals in 2013!

What about you??? Any highlights from 2012? New years resolutions for 2013? I love lists, so this is definitely a fun thing for me. We are so excited for the New Year, with the obvious highlight of becoming PARENTS! We are open to whatever it is the Lord has in store, and are willingly along for the ride!

Observations on having a GIRL!

It's only been a few days since we found out that a precious little girl will be joining our family. Rich thought it was going to be a girl from the beginning, but I wasn't so sure. I never had a strong feeling either way. I really enjoyed the two little Safe Family boys that we had with us for a few months, so I thought maybe the Lord was trying to prepare me for a boy. Given that I come from a family of girls, the idea of having a baby boy freaked me out a little.

But, it's a girl! So while that reality is still sinking in, I've been noticing different things about little girls.

*Since all the summer baby clothes are on sale now, I noticed that the majority of baby girl swim suits are two pieces. Really? A bikini for a baby? How awkward. I pray that our baby girl will feel comfortable in her own skin and enjoy fashion, but always practice modesty.

*After spending time at Rich's school football game & observing mass amounts of teenage girls, I noticed that very few of them actually speak respectfully- either to their parents, or their peers. This makes my heart really sad and my skin crawl a little bit. I have very high hopes that our daughter will always be kind and gentle with her words, especially when in public.

*I've noticed that some of these rude little teens turn into rude little Mom's who raise more rude little teens. This observation is more about me than our daughter- but I hope that I will be able to show the love of Christ at sporting events, in the school, or whenever I am in a situation that could become tense or competitive. I am definitely not a competitive person myself- I am much happier celebrating other people's victories than fighting for the win myself. I just hope that I will be supportive and encouraging of our daughter's achievements, but help her realize that winning isn't everything.

That's really all I've got for this Saturday morning. I have NO expectation that I will be the "perfect mother", but I trust that the Lord will equip Rich and I as we begin this adventure. I will do my best to lead by example and admit when I am wrong. I am just so excited to meet this little girl & get to know her!

So thankful

I need to take a few moments to share just how thankful Rich & I are for our WONDERFUL small group. For a solid 2 years after college, we both prayed hard for community. I was especially desperate to find a group of women similar to the incredible friends I had left in Iowa City. And for the longest time, we just waited. With no answer. Growing quite frustrated, and pretty lonely.

When we moved to Woodstock, we really felt like that was where the Lord wanted us. And we trusted that He would provide us with solid friendships. Oh, how He has provided! Our small group is filled with some of the most genuine, loving and Christ-like people I've ever met. We are constantly encouraged and challenged by the men & women we have the privilege of meeting with each week. We are so thankful for them!

The week before Rich left for Graduate school, we had group as usual. During group, our leaders shared that the men had set up a schedule to come mow the lawn for us while Rich is gone. At first I felt silly and prideful. I can mow the lawn. I've done it for years. Sure, I'm pregnant, but I can do this. No need to bother the guys.

Thankfully those thoughts were quickly replaced with an overwhelming sense of comfort. Up until that point, I had been putting on my brave face, pretending like having Rich gone for the summer wouldn't totally suck. Hearing the guys share with Rich their promise to look after and take care of anything I needed for the summer was so incredible. Of course, I cried. Big shock. I was just so overwhelmed by their generosity.

Yesterday, Jason & Kathy (our small group leaders) came over to take care of the yard. They even brought us dinner too! I had such a great time with them & their 3 sweet little ones. It was a really fun night together, and I was so thankful for all of Jason's hard work!

Our first ultrasound

Like I mentioned before, our sweet doctor ordered an ultrasound for Friday at 10:45am so that Rich could be sure to make it. She wanted to confirm how far along I was, since there was a chance I could have been a month further along.

Rich & I were really excited and nervous for the appointment. We knew that we would probably be able to see the heartbeat, and there was a possibility that we could even hear it! We prayed in the car before walking inside the office, not quite sure of what we might see. Rich prayed over me, asking for peace and comfort, as well as a strong heart beat for our little one. Quick side note- I just adore that man. He can calm me down right away with just a hug or a quick prayer. I am so thankful for the way that he knows and loves me. What a guy!

The ultrasound was scheduled for the Warrenville office. It's one of the bigger offices, and sometimes the receptionists there are quite rude. However, we had a very pleasant experience since it was still early on a Friday. The waiting room was not crowded, and we didn't have to wait very long. That was a blessing, since they ask you to have a full bladder before the ultrasound. Yikes! 

The technician asked Rich to wait while she got things set up. I was a little anxious that he was not going to be with me right away, but he smiled at me and said he'd be right in. This might be TMI for some-- but the technician said she would try to do the ultrasound on my stomach first, but since it was early, she may have to do an internal ultrasound. The room was big and cool, and the lights were dim. She had me lay on the table and roll my yoga pants down a little bit. The ultrasound jelly {I'm sure it has a better name than that} was really warm- almost hot! That surprised me quite a bit actually. I laid on the table while she rolled the device across my stomach. I tried to watch her face for any sort of concern- she was an obvious pro and made quick work. Right away, she said she could see the heartbeat. She turned up the volume on the machine, and I heard a noise. She flashed a smile at me and said, "Let's bring your husband in!" 

Rich came in and stood next to me. The technician turned the screen around so that we could both see. She pointed out the yoke sack- a term I didn't realize was used for babies! And then just below it, she showed us the little flicker of a heartbeat! After starring at it for a few moments, she turned up the volume, and we could hear the heartbeat too! It was absolutely incredible. It blew my mind to know that there was another beating heart inside my body. She said the heartbeat was strong- about 159 bpm! Praise the Lord, we were both so happy. What a beautiful noise.

She printed us out two different images; one of the baby, and another with the heartbeat. She said that I was measuring about 7 weeks 2 days, but that with the room for error, they would probably not adjust my due date. 

So, January 18th, 2013 it is! And as soon as I scan in the ultrasound picture, I will update this post with it! We are so thankful to Jesus that things are going well so far. Our next appointment, again, will be July 2nd!

Stiles Family Reveal

Our plan to share the news with the Stiles was to wait until our family birthday dinner on June 6th. Everyone planned to be there to celebrate Rick & Kathy's birthdays, and we thought this would be the perfect time to share our good news. However, once we told my parents, waiting another week & a half seemed like a REALLY long time.

So, when we got a phone call asking if we could have dinner on Friday (June 1st), we immediately agreed to attend! Dan & Kayla were both going to be there, along with our good friends Preston & Rachel. We all had a wonderful dinner together- Rick got to test out his new grill! We sang "Happy Birthday" and had some delicious cake. And after dinner, we gave them our gifts. We got Kathy a pair of sweet little white baby shoes with little grey bears. And we got Rick a baby Cubs hat! Of course, we got their reaction on video. I love it!!

It feels so good to finally have our news "public". We're still waiting until our second trimester to really publicize things. But we it's good to have all of our family in on the secret now. Everyone has been so excited and supportive. Our baby is already so loved & cherished. I cannot wait to meet him or her!

"Education"

Even before becoming pregnant, I have struggled with anxiety and fear. Horrible, ridiculous thoughts have a way of creeping into my head and lingering for far too long. I would often find myself completely consumed with the darkness and worry that flooded my mind. So it makes sense that Satan would continue to use this sin issue into pregnancy- although now, it's as if he has cranked up the dial to max. Uh oh.

I'm also a big reader. I love to plan. Gather information. Educate myself. I don't like feeling unprepared or surprised. So I read books. I have read books on being a Christian in college, being single, dating, marriage, wedding planning, sex & relationships, friendship, and managing your money- just to name a few.

So naturally, I have like 4 or 5 pregnancy books around the house right now. And lets not forget the internet, which is always a wealth of information.

However, I realized yesterday that in my efforts to educate myself, I was really working myself into a complete panic. Somehow I stumbled upon some heartbreaking blog of a woman who's baby had some awful birth defect. The baby was horribly disfigured, and only lived a few hours after he was born. It was so, so devastating. But like an idiot, I kept reading. And then I was left with my thoughts for the rest of the day. Trouble.

I shared this with Richard, as well as a few trusted friends. And they each agreed to help hold me accountable. Another encouraged me to memorize a verse or passage of scripture to pray over our baby for these next several months. I loved the idea, and I am going to do my best to memorize Psalm 139.

There are some fears that I have, deep in my heart, that I am too afraid to even say out loud. I don't even want to tempt fate--which I KNOW is a completely ridiculous thought. Sometimes I try to pray for every single possible outcome, for fear that if I don't, something bad will happen. I try to cover all my bases. But, I know that the Lord will not allow illness or birth defects due to MY lack of prayer. The fact is, I need to just take myself out of the equation all together.

Does this even make sense to anyone? Or am I just rambling? 

Either way, when I am calm and rational, I know these things to be true:

-The Lord already knows the little life that is growing inside me. He knows baby's birthday. Name. Hair color. Shoe size. Everything. The Lord knows it all.

-The Lord already has plans for that little life. He knows how long our precious one with live. He knows where he/she will go to college. He knows if he/she will eventually get married one day. And His plans are already set.

-The Lord loves my child, even more than I do. Even now, having not even met my baby yet, the Lord completely adores him/her. He knows his/her every thought and word. And He will never stop.

Psalm 139
O Lord, you have searched me and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O Lord.


You hem me in-behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.


Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.


If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,"
even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.


For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.


How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand.
When I awake, I am still with you.


If only you would slay the wicked, O God!
Away from me, you blood thirsty men!
They speak of you with evil intent;
your adversaries misuse your name.
Do I not hate those who hate you, O Lord,
and abhor those who rise up against you?
I have nothing but hatred for them;
I count them my enemies.


Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.

Let's celebrate!

I've been known to be slightly dramatic at times. After we started trying, I promised myself I wouldn't go crazy analyzing every single potential pregnancy symptom. So when I started getting extremely tired during the day, I chalked it up to having 2 little boys living with us. When I started having sensitivity to smells, I wrote it off as being part of Spring arriving & having the house more open. {Warning: TMI coming- Dad, you might want to skip this part} But when my breasts starting hurting ALL THE TIME, I knew something might be up.

Before going to bed last night, I drank a big glass of water. I wanted to be "prepared" to take a pregnancy test when I woke up. Rich was getting ready for work, so I did my thing in the bathroom. I set the pregnancy test down on the counter, and went to grab some sweatpants. I wasn't even gone a minute, and the test already showed.....

WE'RE PREGNANT!!!

Rich & I only told a couple of close friends today. Let's be honest, I can't keep secrets so I knew I had to at least tell someone before our big reveal. Rich would probably have been fine keeping quiet. 

It's still pretty early- I am probably only about 5-6 weeks along at this point. We have our first doctors appointment on June 6th with the ob/gyn I have seen since I was 17. She is wonderful, and I feel SO comfortable with her.

We are thankful that both of our Moms have big birthdays coming up in the next couple of weeks. I'm already working out plans for the moment we tell them they will be Grandparents. I can hardly wait for that moment! Hopefully we'll be able to get it on video so that we can post it on here later.

We're both so excited & thankful for this tremendous blessing in our lives. I cannot wait to meet our little one!

Second Thoughts

The last couple of weeks have been a little rough. To be honest, I thought we were going to have to scrap the whole baby plan and wait until Rich finishes graduate school. To make a very long {and personal} story short, we hit a couple of financial bumps. Some unexpected expenses and bills really caught both of us off guard and made us questions our ability to provide for a baby right now.

I'll admit, I panicked and got a little hysterical. There were tears. Dramatic outbursts. Lots of doubt.

And my sweet husband was such a champ. He proved, yet again, how loving, supportive, compassionate and patient he is and just how lucky I am to have him! He listened as I explained the situation. He offered words of comfort. He hugged me tight when I got home. And he paid attention to me the rest of the night. What a guy. I am so blessed!

Anyway, things seem to be back on track.

And Rich & I are rock solid. I couldn't be happier to be living life with him.

Anxiety

Over the last year, I have come to realize the sinful nature of my anxiety. Before joining a fabulous Women's Bible Study at Harvest Bible Chapel, I thought my anxiety was something that I would always struggle with. I thought it was just part of who I am. Just like I have blue eyes. I am also extremely anxious.

Maybe this is obvious to everyone else, but for me this was a total awakening: anxiety is not just unhealthy, it is SINFUL, and the Lord speaks clearly about it's power over us.  For example:

1 Peter 5:7

"Cast all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you."

Philippians 4:6

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."

Matthew 6:25-34

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink, or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you- you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, "What shall we eat?" or "What shall we drink?" or "What shall we wear?" For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

  

When we allow our anxiety to control us, we are essentially telling God that we don't trust Him and His plan. We don't believe that He will take care of us. We can handle things ourselves. We know better. Now, I don't know about you, but when my mind starts going on a downward spiral of anxious thoughts, I don't feel very in control. I don't feel like my plans will work out. I don't feel like I can handle it. So wouldn't it actually be better to simply put our trust fully in HIM in those situations?

I have been really caught up in my own fear and anxiety over the last few days. I worry about so much, and I'm not even pregnant yet!! Thankfully, my sweet husband encouraged me to have a long quiet time yesterday to do just what 1 Peter says- cast my anxiety on Him. I was incredibly convicted of my recent anxiety.

My worrying won't help me get pregnant.
My worrying won't ensure a healthy pregnancy.
My worrying won't protect my future babies.
My worrying won't keep them healthy and safe.

Only JESUS can do those things. He is the one that knows exactly how many children I will have. He knows their names and birthdays. He knows what color hair they have. He knows how much they'll weigh when they are born.

I know that the Lord is going to grow me and teach me so much through having children. I just pray for strength and wisdom along the way.